I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
