you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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