He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
