Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
