I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
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You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
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I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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