I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
