He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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