can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize