dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I didn't shave. On purpose
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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