i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
