Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
