He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
foreskin is a definite game changer
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
