so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
