Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
