I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
