What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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