eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
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