people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
