the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
