There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
