Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Drunk is not a location!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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