escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
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