Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
