I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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