He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize
