My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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