benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
