How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
