at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
