A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
