why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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