New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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