I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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