I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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