sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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