Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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