Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
