Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I wish i was in the wii world.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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