I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
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