so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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