You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
