In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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