the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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