Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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