grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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