i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
