Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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