I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
