i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize