i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
