I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
