____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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