It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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