Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
