she looked like the before picture.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I have tasted many bathrooms
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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