Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Every concussion has its silver lining
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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