If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
