you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
