Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
