i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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