Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
