So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
In the future we'll all be gay
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
