We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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